


thats it the last of my shit is finally sorted got all my internalized homophobic ducks in a fucking row

by itsdave



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Meteorstuck, Retcon Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22028806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsdave/pseuds/itsdave
Summary: Dave and Karkat kiss.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 12
Kudos: 260





	thats it the last of my shit is finally sorted got all my internalized homophobic ducks in a fucking row

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
KARKAT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
DAVE: hahahahah  
KARKAT: HAHAHAHAHA!  
DAVE: hahaha oh my god  
KARKAT: HAHAHA FUCK!  
DAVE: haha  
KARKAT: HEH.  
DAVE: ...  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: ...  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: <3  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: ...  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: (hey)  
KARKAT: (HEY.)  
DAVE: (so this is nice)  
KARKAT: (YEAH. IT IS.)  
DAVE: <3  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: hey  
KARKAT: HEY.  
DAVE: do you think we could uh  
DAVE: ...  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: do you think we could maybe take this really slow  
KARKAT: OH, YEAH. DEFINITELY.  
KARKAT: THAT’S UH... THAT’S TOTALLY OK WITH ME.  
DAVE: ok cool  
KARKAT: COOL.  
DAVE: <3  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: i just  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: i donno i guess im just really pretty fuckin nervous about this  
KARKAT: HEH, ME TOO.  
DAVE: yeah and i guess id just feel a lot better and uh  
DAVE: more relaxed in general  
DAVE: if we agreed to keep this uh  
DAVE: above the neck  
DAVE: for now  
KARKAT: OH! YEAH. THAT’S TOTALLY FINE.  
DAVE: ok cool  
DAVE: <3  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: im not sayin it has to be like that forever or anything  
DAVE: just for now  
DAVE: i mean i think i might need more uh  
DAVE: time than you  
KARKAT: ??  
DAVE: to uh  
DAVE: adjust  
KARKAT: DAVE, IF YOU THINK I’M IN ANY WAY EXPERIENCED OR AT ALL GOOD AT THIS, YOU ARE WAY THE FUCK OFF THE MARK.  
DAVE: haha  
DAVE: no  
DAVE: i mean thats uh  
DAVE: thats good thats reassuring as hell to hear actually because same  
DAVE: but i mean more that im gonna have to adjust to the uh...  
KARKAT: ??  
DAVE: you know  
KARKAT: NO I DON’T.  
DAVE: man yes you do  
DAVE: the whole uh  
DAVE: gay thing  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: OH.  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: shit  
DAVE: fuck  
DAVE: oh my god why did i say anything  
DAVE: i shouldnt have said anything should i  
KARKAT: YEAH DAVE, MAYBE YOU FUCKING SHOULDN’T HAVE.  
DAVE: ugh cmon man im not saying its a problem!  
DAVE: im just sayin you got a real leg up on me here is all  
DAVE: like this isnt even a consideration for you  
KARKAT: AND IT IS FOR YOU.  
DAVE: well... i mean yeah it kinda fuckin is  
KARKAT: GREAT.  
DAVE: oh fuck  
DAVE: karkat look this isnt anything to do with you ok  
KARKAT: UH HUH.  
DAVE: no im serious its not!  
DAVE: its just me  
DAVE: me and a lot of stupid fucking horrible earth shit i got hangin around my neck  
DAVE: im not saying i dont wanna do this  
DAVE: i just...  
KARKAT: HAVE TO MAKE SOME ADJUSTMENTS.  
DAVE: no thats not what i fucking mean  
KARKAT: YES IT IS, DAVE. YOU SAID YOU HAVE TO ADJUST. THAT’S JUST A SHORTER FUCKING WAY OF SAYING “MAKE SOME ADJUSTMENTS.”  
KARKAT: THEY BOTH MEAN THE SAME FUCKING THING. NAMELY THAT BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE TO GET ALL YOUR MENTAL ACROBATICS IN FUCKING ORDER.  
DAVE: no jesus fucking christ thats not what i mean!  
KARKAT: THERE SURE SEEM TO BE A LOT OF FUCKING THINGS YOU DON’T MEAN TONIGHT, DAVE!  
KARKAT: WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT YOU *DO* MEAN IF I’M DOING SUCH A PISS POOR JOB OF INTERPRETING?  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: um  
KARKAT: OH, YOU DON’T WANNA SAY IT, STRIDER?  
KARKAT: FINE.  
KARKAT: I’VE GOT A PRETTY FUCKING GOOD IDEA, SO I’LL JUST SAY IT FOR YOU AND YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FAR OFF I AM.  
KARKAT: I THINK YOU MEAN THAT YOU’RE BORED AND LONELY.  
DAVE: oh what the hell  
KARKAT: AND YOU’RE COMFORTABLE AROUND ME.  
KARKAT: SO YOU DECIDED TO PASS THE TIME IN AN INTERESTING NEW WAY.  
KARKAT: BUT IN A WAY THAT STOPS GOOD AND FUCKING SHORT OF INVITING ANY SERIOUS INTROSPECTION OR PANIC.  
KARKAT: IS THAT RIGHT?  
KARKAT: DID I FORGET ANYTHING?  
DAVE: oh fuck you karkat that is not even close to true  
DAVE: im not “bored and lonely”  
DAVE: i fucking have you  
DAVE: you totally cancel out both those things  
KARKAT: YEAH, BECAUSE THERE’S NOBODY FUCKING ELSE!  
DAVE: oh my god karkat  
DAVE: i know self esteem isnt your strong suit dude but jesus fuckin christ  
KARKAT: WHAT??  
DAVE: what the fuck do you mean what  
DAVE: im over here feelin like historys biggest asshole for letting all my shit get in the way  
DAVE: and you just come truckin in here all outta nowhere with a metric ton of your miserable self loathing garbage and dump it on top of me!  
KARKAT: OUT OF NOWHERE??  
KARKAT: WHAT THE *FUCK* DO YOU MEAN OUT OF NOWHERE???  
KARKAT: THIS WOULD ALL BE GOING FINE, AT LEAST I REALLY FUCKING GOT THE IMPRESSION IT WOULD BE, IF IT WEREN’T FOR ONE VERY SPECIFIC THING ABOUT ME.  
KARKAT: RIGHT??  
DAVE: oh my fucking god that is crazy person talk who the fuck said that?  
KARKAT: COME ON, DAVE! YOU MORE OR LESS SAID IT YOURSELF JUST NOW!  
DAVE: “more or less?”  
DAVE: MORE or LESS?  
DAVE: karkat are you seriously trying to have a “gotcha” moment with me right here right now with “more or fucking less?”  
DAVE: the motherfucking king of all cowards phrases?  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: i NEVER said this wasnt gonna work  
DAVE: YOU said that  
DAVE: i just said i wanted to fucking ease into shit  
DAVE: and yeah maybe i said it in a stupid ass way  
DAVE: maybe i totally ruined the mood or whatever  
DAVE: maybe i shouldnt have fucking said anything because things were goin pretty nice and slow as it was til for some reason i fucking decided to just keep on talking and talking  
DAVE: honestly i donno which is holding me back more the gay thing or just how much i just cant keep my fuckin mouth shut  
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW DAVE, THEY BOTH SEEM TO BE A PRETTY BIG FUCKING PROBLEM FOR YOU!  
DAVE: yeah you know what they are  
DAVE: thats exactly what im tryna say here  
DAVE: you really fuckin got me karkat wow  
DAVE: but i NEVER said it was some big insurmountable problem  
DAVE: that was all you  
DAVE: just goin for the worst possible fucking case scenario  
KARKAT: YEAH, WELL FORGIVE ME FOR BEING A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED!  
KARKAT: I REALLY THOUGHT YOU’D GOTTEN PAST ALL THAT SHIT! AT LEAST THE SITUATION CERTAINLY SEEMED TO FUCKING SUGGEST IT, DAVE!  
KARKAT: BUT APPARENTLY YOU’RE NOT!  
DAVE: look im not fucking “past it” ok  
DAVE: its...  
DAVE: ugh  
DAVE: i dont know what to tell you that i havent kinda already told you or at least thought i did  
DAVE: like this isnt just some old hangup from my dead civilization  
DAVE: i mean it is  
DAVE: but its also...  
DAVE: its got to do with me personally ok  
DAVE: like im not just “getting over it” because certain rules dont apply anymore  
DAVE: this is  
DAVE: um  
DAVE: i think this is something that ive always uh  
DAVE: had  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: i guess what im saying is this probably would have come up even without you  
DAVE: even if i was back on earth  
DAVE: im not sayin its NOT because its you ok  
DAVE: like in a way its really really because its you  
DAVE: but if you think im just trying to force it or something because im comfortable with you or because the situation demands it well sorry but that is not in the least bit true  
DAVE: ok ill fully admit its easier here and a whole fuck of a lot nicer since youre my best friend and i like you so fucking much but  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: boy i am not articulating this well  
DAVE: fuck  
KARKAT: ...I THINK YOU’RE DOING OK.  
DAVE: ha thanks big vote of confidence there from the guy who fuckin hates me  
KARKAT: DAVE, I DON’T-  
DAVE: shut up its fine i know you dont hate me at least i really seriously hope not  
DAVE: um  
DAVE: look ive been tryin to sort through this shit for a while now ok  
DAVE: ive actually been thinking about it a whole fucking lot  
DAVE: arguing with myself holdin all hells of internal debates  
DAVE: but i guess i wasnt doin it nearly enough  
DAVE: but also i didnt fucking plan for this to happen tonight ok?  
DAVE: i didnt fucking wake up this morning and clap my hands and say thats it the last of my shit is finally sorted  
DAVE: got all my internalized homophobic ducks in a fucking row  
DAVE: tonight is the night i shall kiss karkat  
DAVE: ok none of that shit happened  
DAVE: instead it just fucking... came together naturally  
DAVE: and i liked it  
DAVE: ok in case that wasnt fucking 100 percent clear by now i really really liked it  
DAVE: but then i fucking screwed it up because i guess i wasnt ready after all  
DAVE: and because im me i couldnt fucking shut up about it  
DAVE: and since youre fucking you you took it in the worst stupidest over the top way imaginable  
KARKAT: I-  
DAVE: cmon dude you totally did  
DAVE: you were always gonna  
DAVE: that was just a fuckin given  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: ok but now what?  
DAVE: are we fucked here?  
DAVE: like i guess im glad i went for it but at the same time i am REALLY fucking hella jealous of the offshoot timeline version of us who just had a hearty lil chuckle and a super tellingly intimate embrace and then moved past it like every other time and got back to watching fucking dane cook try to get with whoever the fuck it is this time  
KARKAT: IT'S KATE HUDSON.  
DAVE: well im glad somebodys fuckin priorities are in order!  
KARKAT: DAVE, I...  
DAVE: shut up its fine it was a fucking joke  
KARKAT: OK...  
DAVE: yeah uh i guess id really kinda like to see how those guys are farin right now  
DAVE: not dane cook and kate hudson obviously  
DAVE: i mean still just friends us  
DAVE: theyre prolly havin a way better night  
DAVE: ...of course by that logic theres also another timeline where we did kiss but i didnt let all my shit get in the way  
DAVE: i bet those guys are havin the BEST fucking time  
DAVE: shit i wonder which is the alpha timeline  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: oh my god if i shot us into a doomed timeline with my fucking gay makeout hangups i am going to be INCREDIBLY pissed off  
KARKAT: I DON’T THINK TIMELINES REALLY SPLIT OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS.  
DAVE: you sure about that bro we dont fuckin know how they work  
DAVE: and anyway maybe this choice was super fucking important  
DAVE: the most dire choice of all  
DAVE: fuck  
DAVE: we gotta keep our eyes peeled in dream bubbles for versions of us that have slightly different memories of this scene  
DAVE: they better be fuckin ghosts or im gonna be so mad  
KARKAT: DAVE, I CAN’T EVEN TELL IF YOU’RE SERIOUS ANYMORE.  
DAVE: oh im dead serious karkat were not resting until we find a spooky white eyed set of us who never kissed and another set who kissed a whole lot  
DAVE: those second guys might be hard to track down tho cuz theyll prolly just be fuckin each others brains out  
KARKAT: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
DAVE: hahaha oh my god  
DAVE: apparently i got no fucking problem talking about this if its removed to a dead doomed timeline ghost version of me  
DAVE: aka the official no homo distance  
DAVE: um  
DAVE: look  
DAVE: i kinda hope that through all this bullshit where im implying the fate of the universe depends on us hooking up or not im adequately expressing that uh  
DAVE: im ok with it  
DAVE: if you are  
DAVE: i just... i really do think i need a little time to ease into it  
DAVE: but i swear to god i think its just time like just a chance to get all the idiot parts of my brain used to the idea that some other super rad parts are already real into  
DAVE: ...you know?  
KARKAT: YEAH I... I THINK I DO.  
DAVE: ok cool  
DAVE: thanks man  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: just out of curiosity is there like  
DAVE: a quadrant for really good friends whove kissed four times while dane cook looks on benevolently  
KARKAT: HA. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE DANE COOK PART, BUT I THINK THIS IS BASICALLY UH... A PRETTY CLASSIC PALE TO FLUSHED PROGRESSION.  
DAVE: huh  
DAVE: ok  
DAVE: i mean if its up to me i think i prefer to think of us as just karkat and dave  
DAVE: but if youre puttin up with my earth bullshit i guess the least i can do is put up with your troll nonsense  
KARKAT: HEH. THANKS.  
DAVE: ...  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: do you uh  
DAVE: do you wanna kiss again  
KARKAT: DO YOU?  
DAVE: yeah i...  
DAVE: as long as were cool i really kinda do  
KARKAT: I THINK WE’RE COOL.  
KARKAT: UM. I GUESS IT’S NOT QUITE AS NATURAL THIS TIME...  
DAVE: thats ok  
DAVE: look where the fuck natural got us  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD THAT’S TRUE! FUCK NATURAL!  
DAVE: yeah fuck it seriously what good did natural ever do anybody  
KARKAT: JACK SHIT, THAT'S WHAT!  
DAVE: heh...  
KARKAT: ...OK.  
DAVE: ok  
KARKAT: ...<3  
DAVE: <3  
DAVE: hey whats the quadrant for when youve kissed five times in front of dane cook and now he just looks kinda embarrassed  
KARKAT: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
DAVE: k  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: <3  



End file.
